"The Problem with Reading" or "Wrestling Inner Demons"

What has been will be again,
 what has been done will be done again;
 there is nothing new under the sun.- The Bible- Ecclesiastes 1:9

I've read - a lot- in my years on this blue glowing marble we call Earth. I often find myself reading two or three books at once. This is probably not the best idea for absorbing long term information, but I often feel driven to constantly learn or explore new ideas and concepts. This is an amazing blessing and at the same time, can often impede progress. I often wrestle with trying to reach for something unique or different without being cheesy or ill-conceived. These inner demons are vicious and unrelenting. They're like lead weights within the gut seeping out poison that eats away at every creative thought or motivation.

That's when I remember the last line above, "there is nothing new under the sun." These tales we tell have been retold like echoes over and over again. Perhaps a better example is that each tale is told and retold and with each retelling, it changes and becomes something new, like a game of telephone. It's in the re imagining that we come upon that glimmer of something new and special. The more I read, the more I know this is true. It is rare that I'm caught off-guard by stories whether in a book or movie or TV show. It's not that I'm smarter than anyone else, I've just been exposed to more stories. When I am caught unaware, it's either due to a very clever writer, or a writer who has left out the most pertinent clues. But, I digress. I am not saying I enjoy these stories any less. I have instead, learned to enjoy them for what they are-- someone's labor of love.

So, here I am talking about a problem that I'm sure I'm not alone with. There is something that you learn though as you wrestle with these thoughts and that is that sometimes you just have to let it go. Much like perfectionism, sometimes you have to learn when good enough is simply good enough. Let the chips fall where they may and see what shakes out in the end.

So why this topic today? There's no time like the present they say. We all know they know everything so we should listen - right?

I've had a book concept for many years now and have done a decent amount of world building so that when I write, I understand the world I'm creating and that my characters live within. I've even started writing bits of it. But still, I wrestle with pulling it all together. I fight bits of doubt. I fight time. I fight the, "but will it work?" questions that come to me as I think of the concepts that enfold the story and make it breathe. I'm fighting myself more than any other person I could ever fight with. I am relentless on myself. And then, I read something that smells vaguely like what I'm writing and I worry that it's too close. Others will notice the cracks in the façade. "Pay no attention to the (wo)man behind that curtain!" I'll exclaim to readers. 

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Sound advice there. Any writer or artist should pay heed of such wise council. And so, I will close doors inside my mind to stave off the demons that whisper doubt, and leave you with this video from one of my all time favorite bands:

It's Not Too Late

It's a cool Saturday morning. The sky is overcast and heavy with clouds filled with silvered bits of rain. For some, this is a sign to curl up for the day and ignore the outside world. For me, it's a sign that this may just be my kind of day.

I said that I'd blog more, and here I am sitting in a fluffy large brown chair, legs tucked beneath me, and the glow of my laptop before me. It's not too late.

I've been a bit dry on inspiration for awhile and it's time to correct this immediately. I've watched too long while others (whom I adore) stretch their newly hatched wings to dry and then set off for greater heights. I'm not saying I am aiming for great heights. Frankly speaking, I'm not a fan of heights, but at least climbing up the next hill to see what's in the valley beyond isn't such a bad deal. Who knows what I'll find there.

I am surrounded by inspirational people. Those who I am happy to call friends or colleagues at the least. You would think that would make it easier to be inspired, but sometimes you instead feel as if you stand among giants or you're a background singer lending support. It's much harder to stand out as your own shining star when surrounded by many in a constellation of talent. But, it's not too late to shine a little brighter, dig a little deeper, and stop singing back up. I don't need accolades or fame, just to feel as if I've regained a bit of lost momentum and passion.

I am a writer. I write. I have always written from the time I was a child. I have stories aplenty to be told and one way or another, they will be told. The journey is in the telling of the tale. My focus is just a bit different than it once was.

For now though, this will have to do. I have some bacon-wrapped goat cheese stuffed dates to make for a party. I'll be thinking of what to write next while I do it and most likely burn myself a little, but I'll just consider it suffering for my art.

Welcome to the New Age

I was listening to Radioactive by Imagine Dragons when I named this blog post. What can I say? It struck an immediate chord with me. It's not the New year as of yet (though it's looming bright on the horizon), and I don't have any intentions of waiting for  it to arrive to kick things back into gear. This isn't a New Year's resolution, just something I've been wanting to do for awhile. You see, I've been neglectful of this blog and if I'm really going to babble, I should at least be consistent about it. It's good for sharpening my overly dulled writing skills and it gives me an outlet that perhaps I don't always take the most advantage of.

Once upon a time, I was a rather prolific blogger. Shocking, I know. I had opinions and shared them regularly, but fewer cared about what I said beyond a rather small circle. Things have changed over the years and while I'm still me, I'm a  more cautious me. So, my focus will be on less controversial items and more on artistic pursuits or general thoughts. I hope you don't mind. My hope is that there can be some inspiration to be gleaned or thoughtfulness provoked much like a hungry tiger looking for his next meal. (Please don't eat the other visitors.)

This is an admittedly short blog for the moment and I feel the need to finish it with some sort of flourish. I am not wearing a hat so I can't whip it off my head and curtsy with anything close to aplomb. Even if I had a hat and tried, I'd most likely end up bruised from tripping over my own feet, so instead, I guess I shall leave it with this:

“There are as many worlds as there are kinds of days, and as an opal changes its colors and its fire to match the nature of a day, so do I.”- John Steinbeck