#1 Reason To Be GDC Talk

This is a great talk that came out of GDC.  (Contains some NSFW language.)


#1 Reason To Be - GDC Talk


Being a feminist isn't about promoting one gender above the other. It's about being allowed to rise or fall on our own abilities and being respected for our work on its own merit. That's it in a nutshell.

Vikings on History Channel

I have always been drawn to stories from history, but more to those stories about my ancestors. I can't cite many specific stories beyond knowing that my family came from here or from there (along with knowing some of who they were) through tracing my genealogy, but getting stories of what their lives might have been like is always fascinating.

My recent fascination has been with History Channel's show Vikings. I not only love the mythology (more than Greek or Roman), but I love the chance to get a glimpse at a culture we rarely get to see. While the story is largely fictionalized (they need to tell a story still), that story is based on as much real history as they could possibly add in.

What do I love? The story pulls no punches and yet makes you both root for and cringe over the harsh realities of how they lived and the choices they had to make. The cinematography is compelling and beautiful and the acting is spot on. If you haven't seen the trailer for it, you may want to give it a gander.

Here is the stunningly haunting trailer for the show:

Who were the real Vikings?

And if you're wondering what song that is in the opening sequence, it's "If I Had a Heart" by Fever Ray.

In a Nutshell: What I've been Doing Lately

I lead an often --let's call it -- challenging life. I'm quite sure I'm not the only one. This is what comes of living in an age as we do. With every convenience, there is a cost. With every advance, there is another hurdle. But I'm stubborn and I carry on.

In this digital age, we are not alone in our struggles or bereft in potential resources for getting through our challenges. Because of this, even at the (still young) age of forty I continue to push myself to learn and become better. I am my own worst critic, so this is often one of those challenges I face among others. I also truly believe that we make a mistake in thinking that at some mystical age, we know all we ever need to know and should stop learning. I have news for you all, while "life is short" we lead far longer lives today than our forebears. Learning shouldn't ever stop.

To that end, I have been pushing myself to take advantage of the resources available to me on the internet and via books I'm able to find and read. While I still read a lot of fantasy (in fact I'm currently finishing book three of the Mistborn Trilogy (Mistborn, The Hero of Ages, &; The Well of Ascension). I'm enjoying it, but the more I read what others have written, the more I just want to work on my own novel/s that I've had percolating in my own brain pan.

So, what does it all mean? What am I doing anyway?

Learning: Making New Brain Ripples

I am fortunate that my employer offers internal means of learning and a library by which we can freely borrow. I admit, I don't always take full advantage of this. Balancing a work life and a family life along with personal ambitions isn't easy. (It's hard. It's probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. But the payoff? Hopefully worth it.) So, to supplement my opportunities to learn, I've turned to a few different places.

Coursera- Free online courses from top level universities. It's not going to get you a degree, but it will help you learn about some great topics. Many courses also include a certificate when you complete them, which may help bolster your resume.

Code Academy- Another free way to learn, they teach a variety of coding skills. Again, this may not make you into an expert or get you a degree, but it will allow you a means to start learning if you're interested in doing so. Even if you're "just" a blogger, there are courses on Web Fundamentals that will help you learn more about basic html and CSS.

Vocabulary.com - Test your vocabulary and push yourself to learn more.

Reading- I'm reading a lot more reference books than I am for pleasure books. I blame my mother for always answering our questions of "What does "x" word mean" or various other curiosities with the simple words, "Look it up." This was more difficult back then since there was no internet to go to or downloadable books. We instead had sets of encyclopedias (real ones with pages and everything) and dictionaries or even headed off to the library. If we didn't know what something was, we looked it up.

Here are just some of the books I've been reading through (If you have Amazon Prime, you can often borrow these for free):

APE: Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur-How to Publish a Book - Since I haven't done this yet, I figured this was worth checking out and Amazon had it as a daily deal on Kindle. I have friends I can talk to about the process as well, but they have their own lives and I don't want to soak up too much of their own extra time if I can help it.

The War of Art- How to break through your creative blocks. It's a short book and doesn't have any big ground breaking information, but at the same time, it's encouraging and practical.

The Artful Edit: On the Practice of Editing Yourself - I love my editors. Even when I get irritated at what they want to edit. Without a second pair of eyes specifically trained to edit, what I write wouldn't be nearly as good. (Perhaps as evidenced by this blog? ;) ) That said, I also think it's worth the effort to make editing slightly less painful for them if I can. This book helps you take a step back, and learn some self-editing techniques that can only help you make your end product better.

Write Great Fiction - Revision And Self-Editing - Another of the books I've been reading to learn more.

The Chicago Manual of Style, 15th Edition - There's a newer version out now (I think we're at 16) but this is a great resource for understanding the ins and outs of grammar and punctuation.

Health: I Think I'll Go For a Walk

Aside from those, I've been trying to improve my health. I own a FitBit to track my daily activity and take walks when I can.

I also signed up with eMeals to make it easier on myself with meal planning. We're using the Paleo Plan and so far, I've noticed a difference: less headaches, no migraines, no joint pain, losing some much needed weight/fat, feeling more energetic. My other half no longer has horrible heartburn at night either. I'm not suggesting others do likewise, I'm just pointing out what a difference taking a look at your own activity and diet can make. (These are my experiences alone and should not be taken as medical advice. Please see your doctor and/or your own nutritionist when considering health options.)

I'm still learning and adjusting what we can eat and what we shouldn't eat, but it's going well for us. I've been checking out Mark's Daily Apple among other sources to learn more about how others are approaching this type of lifestyle. I'm cooking nearly every day (save maybe one day a week) something new each day and frankly, carryout doesn't taste nearly as good as it used to.

Cleaning: My Lack of Domestic Goddesshood

I'm horrible at organizing cleaning. It can be so overwhelming at times. Especially since I'd much rather be doing myriad other things, but I turn to Flylady.net. It's helped me put things in perspective. I'm not a domestic goddess or Martha Stewart. I want things perfect and clean, but I get overwhelmed by what all needs to be done. Flylady just helps break things into pieces and remember not to go "too far" on any one thing.

Writing: There's a Whole World in There!

I'm also spending more time working on my own book. I'm finally breaking through the barriers I had set up for myself in the past and have a better idea of how I want my chapters to be set up, the pacing of the book, and the story I want to tell. It hasn't been easy because there is an entire world of characters in my head who all want to have a turn in the spotlight. I'm sure I'll get to many of them in time.

Bonus:

Also, for those who may not be aware and may be interested, there's a new adventure gaming magazine in town: Gygax Magazine as covered by Boing Boing.

That's it for me for now. Back to work I go.

Signal to Noise - Poem

This seemed apropos if nothing given that the world is more connected than ever with so many possibilities and so many competing to be the one to take on those possibilities. There's a lot of 'noise' to contend with in so many wanting to be heard, seen, and recognized.

Vignette #2- Inside Voice

vignette  (vɪˈnjɛt)
— n
1.	a small illustration placed at the beginning or end of a book or chapter
2.	a short graceful literary essay or sketch
3.	a photograph, drawing, etc, with edges that are shaded off
4.	architect  a carved ornamentation that has a design based upon tendrils, leaves, etc
5.	any small endearing scene, view, picture, etc

---------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you see anything?” said the voice out of the darkness.

“What should I see?”

“Anything, I guess. Something. Maybe nothing. I’m not sure. It’s why I’m asking you. Do you see anything?”

“Darkness I guess- lots of staticky darkness. Like dancing flecks of faded light before my eyes every now and again. Is that what I should be seeing?”

“Perhaps,” said the deep baritone voice rumbling in her ears.  “Concentrate on the place you want to be most.”

“I’ll try,” said the soft feminine voice. “I’m afraid though.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Ending up somewhere I don’t want to be.”

“Where would that be?”

“I don’t know, but I know I don’t want to think about it. I thought you said I should think of a place I want to be?”

“Yes. You should.”

“Now you’ve done it.”

“What have I done?”

“I’m on the edge of a cliff.”

“Is that where you want to be?” rumbled the voice again.

“No,” came the tremulous response. “I’m afraid I’ll fall.”

“What would happen if you fell?”

“I don’t know. It’s so dark. I don’t know how far it goes down.”

“So, take control. It’s your dream.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“What else could it be?”

“A nightmare then,” the soft voice whispered as a breeze slipped through her hair and carried the sound with it.

“You can change it,” said the reassuring voice.

“How?”

“Imagine. Imagine an out. Imagine the stars above lighting your way. Imagine a bridge from the cliff leading across it to a safer place. Imagine there is no cliff. It’s your mind. Your thought. Imagine it, and it can be real in this place.”

“Where is this?”

“We’re in the crenelated battlements of your mind. Where else? Are you ready to wage war with yourself?”

“This is war?” she said weakly. “I’m not equipped for war.”

“You are.”

“I see something in the distance. Dark shapes oozing and viscous. I’m standing on the parapet of a castle’s walls now,” her voice shudders where her body is unable to. “They’re frightening.”

“Doubt.”

“Excuse me?”

“They’re your doubts.”

“That’s what doubt looks like?”

“To you it does. Others’ doubts may look different. To you, they’re dark shapes. The question is,  will you fight them?”

“What will happen if I don’t?”

“They’ll destroy you.”

“I see. I can’t negotiate?”

The sound of deep rich laughter drifts to her.

“So that’s a no,” she says a bit of humor seeping into her own voice as she realizes the inanity of such a question.

“Alright then,” she says as steel seeps into her voice. “I’ll fight. Will you help?”

“I already am.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m you.”

“I’m no baritone.”

“And so you’re not,” came the rich contralto.

“I'm not a contralto either, but I like it, I just don’t understand.”

“I am your strength—your will. I can sound however you imagine. I can be whatever you imagine. You imagined me as a baritone and now as this. I’m you, whatever you imagine you to be.”

“I’m odd.”

“I won’t argue with you. They’re getting closer. Shall we begin?”

“Yes. Let’s.”

This is Not a Resolution- Happy 2013!

Every year the world comes together to celebrate a new year. We do this in many different ways with different drinks, friends, foods, and activities. There is generally one thing that we all end up doing whether we planned to or not, we make a resolution. We promise to do something or be something within the new year that we didn't do or weren't in the past year. And then, we promptly break these promises to ourselves.

This year, may be a bit different for me, however and +Nicole Hamlett. Instead of making big promises backed up by zero accountability, we've made a sort of pact. I admit, she was the one that pushed for it and got the ball rolling, I'm sort of going along because it's a damn good idea and I should. In prior years, I've had no one else sticking with me or pushing, or that I could push in turn.

But, it's not a resolution. We're not resolving to do anything. Instead we've made a plan- a pact if you will. We've set up tracking for ourselves to keep each other honest, and we've made achievable goal for the year (barring any momentary temper-tantrums or illnesses that may ensue.)

So what is it we've decided to do? We're both writers beyond what we do for work (of which we both love.) So, we've made a pact to write for 30 minutes a day every day for 365 days. We've also decided to do 30 minutes a day of exercise, whether it's walking or something else, we're moving mind and body in a way we know is better for us both. It's not a competition to see who can do better or more, it's just good old fashioned motivation and cooperation. We'll be building each other up for a year. That fits right within our natures to nurture others and encourage. I couldn't ask for more.

Will we add others to our pact? It could happen. Anything is possible I'm looking forward to seeing where this path takes us. So far, I've been more motivated today and more productive. We'll see what happens when I'm back at my desk in an office. Hopefully, that same productivity will translate there as well. Again, thanks to my dear friend +Nicole Hamlett I've been able to sign up for a meal planning service (I didn't even know these existed) which will hopefully trim some time from my hectic schedule as well, which should free up writing and exercise time too. It's good to have friends you can count on to back you up and it's good to have some solid goals set up for the year. This isn't a resolution after all, it's a pact. I'll try to keep you all up to date on how it goes.

*Disclaimer: No blood, spit, bodily fluids, or ritualistic ceremonies were performed  in the enacting of this pact. Mocking of failure to fulfill pact is allowable per the original agreement within reasonable limitations. One way street. Do not turn back. This is not a drill. To your battlestations. Set all phasers to stun. Do not feed after midnight. Void where prohibited. No refunds. No exceptions. May god have mercy on our souls. 

"The Problem with Reading" or "Wrestling Inner Demons"

What has been will be again,
 what has been done will be done again;
 there is nothing new under the sun.- The Bible- Ecclesiastes 1:9

I've read - a lot- in my years on this blue glowing marble we call Earth. I often find myself reading two or three books at once. This is probably not the best idea for absorbing long term information, but I often feel driven to constantly learn or explore new ideas and concepts. This is an amazing blessing and at the same time, can often impede progress. I often wrestle with trying to reach for something unique or different without being cheesy or ill-conceived. These inner demons are vicious and unrelenting. They're like lead weights within the gut seeping out poison that eats away at every creative thought or motivation.

That's when I remember the last line above, "there is nothing new under the sun." These tales we tell have been retold like echoes over and over again. Perhaps a better example is that each tale is told and retold and with each retelling, it changes and becomes something new, like a game of telephone. It's in the re imagining that we come upon that glimmer of something new and special. The more I read, the more I know this is true. It is rare that I'm caught off-guard by stories whether in a book or movie or TV show. It's not that I'm smarter than anyone else, I've just been exposed to more stories. When I am caught unaware, it's either due to a very clever writer, or a writer who has left out the most pertinent clues. But, I digress. I am not saying I enjoy these stories any less. I have instead, learned to enjoy them for what they are-- someone's labor of love.

So, here I am talking about a problem that I'm sure I'm not alone with. There is something that you learn though as you wrestle with these thoughts and that is that sometimes you just have to let it go. Much like perfectionism, sometimes you have to learn when good enough is simply good enough. Let the chips fall where they may and see what shakes out in the end.

So why this topic today? There's no time like the present they say. We all know they know everything so we should listen - right?

I've had a book concept for many years now and have done a decent amount of world building so that when I write, I understand the world I'm creating and that my characters live within. I've even started writing bits of it. But still, I wrestle with pulling it all together. I fight bits of doubt. I fight time. I fight the, "but will it work?" questions that come to me as I think of the concepts that enfold the story and make it breathe. I'm fighting myself more than any other person I could ever fight with. I am relentless on myself. And then, I read something that smells vaguely like what I'm writing and I worry that it's too close. Others will notice the cracks in the façade. "Pay no attention to the (wo)man behind that curtain!" I'll exclaim to readers. 

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Sound advice there. Any writer or artist should pay heed of such wise council. And so, I will close doors inside my mind to stave off the demons that whisper doubt, and leave you with this video from one of my all time favorite bands: